Well, I've been here a few weeks. It's awesome! I realize I needed to go to Northern Arizona for that year for oh so many reasons. Friends, relationships, teachers, judo, the church, late nights, sleepless nights, midnight bike rides, photography, and distance taught me so much that I needed right then. I wonder if I would have found all of it at BYU. I don't think so. I needed a little more dirt to appreciate the squeaky clean feeling. I do miss some things, especially best friends.
I love having the mountains so close. The mornings are great because the mountain keeps campus cool into the late morning. Riding my bike is so relaxing. Flowing and interpreting pedestrian traffic is a simple pleasure. My classes are great. I'm learning how to folk dance (last week we worked on a Romanian dance and this week is Mexican Polka. How awesome is that?). I'm taking shotokai karate (I can't find judo anywhere!). No music this semester...which is weird. No science either. Lots of changes in my education. I'm also learning Arabic which is so difficult but so satisfying. I'm really glad I learned some French, somehow it makes it easier, except when I can't find the Arabic word while talking and choose the French one instead. The ward I'm in is fantastic and our home evening group is just a gem to my week. Oh yeah, and living with the Moore's is a constant entertainment.
This morning Neil L. Andersen visited BYU today for a devotional. He spoke of honesty and integrity. It was quite good, but the part that hit me the hardest was just at the end. He told me that if I sought to perfectly honest in all things that it would become a light that could shine from me. That is the light I want. I've been trying so hard to find it. I feel it is so close at times but that I get too startled or scared and repress it. I want to trust the light. I want to trust what others see when I'm in the light. I want trust myself to be a light for others.
Amidst the massive attack against my social insecurity to turn every activity into a date, I am it nice and peaceful to get to know people and have fun. Our bishop challenged our ward to go on a date a week for the rest of our lives. I think that is a really neat idea. We'll see how it works out, starting Friday night. Jeremy and I are going on a double date to World of Dance, which I am very excited for because it is going to be a fantastic show but also because of those who will be attending with us.
A few answers to prayers. I found out just before I came up to BYU that I had enough saved up, because of the generosity of so many to actually attend school. This has allowed me to take a lot of classes and get involved with BYU. I got housing the day I got back from Sacramento. I paid my fast offering this month. On Sunday night we came home with a box of donuts and other sweets. Last night I came home with a couple bags of food. I have been asking how I could bring the light back to my eyes and this morning Neil L. Andersen told me one path. I needed to talk to my department's advisor to add another class but she was gone yesterday which was the last day to add classes. I got an e-mail at 9:30 pm telling me I had permission to take the class. At 11:30 pm, I felt like I should check my e-mail one last time, just in case by some random act of humanity she checked her e-mail early and gave me permission. I was able to sign up for the class. I've needed some closure and it has slowly been coming.
Life is good, Zion grows, and God loves us. I see that a lot, every day really.
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